13 Situations Single People Know Too Well

Yes grandma, I’m still single.

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CBS

1. The “Pity Invite Dinner”

Your friends invite you to dinner with their S.O.’s. They all sit next to each other and you’re just kind of there. Then they start trying to talk you into meeting one of their friends. Then they start bringing up inside jokes. Then you start wondering what you should watch on Netflix when you get home.

izismile.com

 

2. The “I Just Want To Watch This Movie, Please Stop Sucking Face” Experience

You go the movies purposely choosing the least romantic movie. You get inside and are suddenly surrounded by couples. GTFO, COUPLES. There’s no need for you to be holding hands right now. It’s not even romantic.

izismile.com

 

3. The “Would You Mind If I Gave Away Your Plus One Spot To Someone Else” Wedding Invite

You show up to the wedding sans a S.O. because as your dear friend so lovingly pointed out, you had no one to bring. You drink too much champagne during each slow song and are standing literally right in front of the bride during the bouquet toss and it still misses you and hits the married lady in the head. She laughs as you contemplate crying but decide on a piece of cake instead.

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Via botanicaflorist.com

4. The “My Family Won’t Stop Asking Me If I’ve Met Someone” Family Gathering

If I had met someone, you would all be the first to know because I’m dying for you to leave me alone about this. I know how old I am, and I’m fully aware how old you were when you got married. TIMES HAVE CHANGED, GRANDMA.

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Via valerieaheck.blogspot.com

5. The “Everyone Needs Their S.O.’s Opinions While Shopping” Experience

You walk into a store and see them all. They’re just standing around, giving their loving opinions. “You look great, babe!” You decide that you don’t want anything and leave, trying to avoid the couple cuddling over by the hats.

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Via sadmoment.com

6. The “You Are So In Love You Decided To Reproduce And You Don’t Even Have Alcohol Here” Baby Shower

I’m single, and you asked me to come here with all of your married friends, and you don’t have booze? Unacceptable. I just had to listen to you all talk about breastfeeding. Where’s the VODKA?

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NBC / Via quizzicalllama.wordpress.com

7. The “I Literally Cannot Escape My Single Status” Vacation

You could be in the middle of the Rocky Mountains and you’ll still run into a couple on their honeymoon. They ask you to take their picture and they look into each other’s eyes before kissing. They ask if you’re there alone. You decide you’re having ice cream for dinner.

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8. The “Look What My S.O. Got Me For This Holiday” Moment

Another holiday, another chance for all of your friends in relationships to talk incessantly about being in said relationship. Presents, dates, thoughtful cards…the works. SHUTUP.

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Sony Pictures

9. The “I Finally Get To See My Favorite Band But This Couple Slow Dancing Is Blocking My View” Concert

You waited months to see this band. You finally scored tickets and looked forward to it for weeks. You arrive. You scan the perimeter. So far, so good. Then they arrive. They came in late and squeezed by you. You think to yourself, “please not in front of me, please not in front of me.” They sit in front of you and the kissing begins.

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Via houston.culturemap.com

10. The “I Love Brunch So Much Until My Favorite Spot Becomes The New Hangout For Couples”

Who doesn’t love brunch? Weekend brunch was your favorite part of life…until the couples started coming. There you were, trying to enjoy your huevos rancheros as you were painfully reminded that not only did you spend Friday and Saturday night alone, you also didn’t have someone lovingly wipe the ketchup from your mouth.

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Via thebluescarlett.com

11. The “I’m Close To Death And Need Someone To Take Care Of Me” Sickness

When you’re sick and you no longer live with your parents, having a S.O. is the next best thing. They basically HAVE to take care of you and love you even when you have snot literally dripping out of your nose. When you’re single you just have to take care of yourself. And it’s haaaaarrrdddd.

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Via sites.psu.edu

12. The “I Just Moved And I Don’t Have Anyone To Help Me Assemble This IKEA Furniture” Moment

Well what the hell am I supposed to do now? I can’t do this BY MYSELF.

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Via reddit.com

13. The “I Want To Cook A Meal But There’s Just One Of Me” Moment

Better get takeout instead. I wouldn’t want to share my pizza anyway.

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FOX / Via glee.wikia.com

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/laraparker/situations-single-people-know-all-too-well

13 Situations Single People Know Too Well

An 80-foot inflatable tree in Paris looks a lot like a giant butt plug

‘Tree’, Paul McCarthy’s monumental artwork at Place Vendome on Oct. 16 in Paris, France.

Image: Chesnot/Getty Images

Shield your eyes, art aficionados.

A giant inflatable sculpture was erected in Place Vendôme in Paris, France, on Oct. 16, and ever since, it has been making waves for locals and tourists alike. The reason may be fairly obvious: The sculpture, called “Tree,” looks suspiciously like giant butt plug.

Paul McCarthy’s piece of art, which measures roughly 80 feet tall, was installed as part of a contemporary art fair. Despite McCarthy’s insistence that his work is simply meant to resemble a Christmas tree, people can’t keep their minds out of the gutter.

Some, including those from a movement called the “French Spring” (Printemps Français), were humiliated by the installation.

Un plug anal géant de 24 m de haut vient d’être installé place Vendôme !
Place #Vendome défigurée !
Paris humilié ! pic.twitter.com/vv7fzZWC62

— Printemps Français (@nelachonsrien) October 16, 2014

(Rough translation: Place Vendome is disfigured! Paris is humiliated!)

But others can’t take enough hilarious pictures of themselves hanging out next to a giant sex toy in a public square.

McCarthy’s art has come under fire before, according to the Daily Mail, which noted his history of taking innocent icons (such as Santa Claus, below) and reimagining them in a risqué context.

Image: Wikimedia Commons F.Eveleens

It’s hard to imagine this sculpture’s sexually suggestive appearance was merely a coincidence, but either way, you can’t help but feel a bit awkward. Especially if you’re reading this at work.

Image: Tumblr

The art fair ends on Oct. 26, but it’s unclear whether the butt plug — oops, tree — installation will be dissembled by then.

BONUS: 25 Awkward GIFs for Your Cringe-Worthy Moments

Awkward GIFs

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   1. When someone greets you by name and you don’t recognize them.

   
   

   
   

   
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   2. When you’re seated between two people who are fighting.

   
   

   
   

   
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   3. When your attempts at seduction fall flat.

   
   

   
   

   
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   4. When distant relatives are overly familiar.

   
   

   
   

   
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   5. When you unexpectedly run into a friend you just heard a rumor about.

   
   

   
   

   
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   6. When you’re giving a demonstration and you make an obvious mistake.

   
   

   
   

   
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   7. When you take a bite of something disgusting but it would look rude to spit it out.

   
   

   
   

   
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   8. When someone catches you trying to avoid them.

   
   

   
   

   
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   9. When a date’s flirting veers into creepiness.

   
   

   
   

   
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    10. When you’re not super excited about something but you feel the need to match your friend’s enthusiasm.

    
    

    
    

    
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    11. When a friend is trying a little too hard to be cool.

    
    

    
    

    
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    12. When your desperation to fill the silence results in gibberish.

    
    

    
    

    
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    13. When you attempt a dance move you’ve only seen once before.

    
    

    
    

    
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    14. When you don’t know how to tell someone you’re not interested.

    
    

    
    

    
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    15. When you accidentally go to wave with both hands.

    
    

    
    

    
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    16. When you use slang incorrectly.

    
    

    
    

    
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    17. When everyone at your lunch table is discussing a TV show you don’t watch.

    
    

    
    

    
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    18. When you accidentally reveal your crush.

    
    

    
    

    
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    19. When you try a new look and realize it’s not working when it’s too late to change.

    
    

    
    

    
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    20. When you’re stuck next to a PDA-happy couple.

    
    

    
    

    
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    21. When you trip publicly and dramatically.

    
    

    
    

    
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    22. When you miss a catch.

    
    

    
    

    
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    23. When someone catches you staring.

    
    

    
    

    
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    24. When a new friend insults something they don’t know you like.

    
    

    
    

    
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    25. When a friend recounts an embarrassing story about you.

    
    

    
    

    
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Read more: http://mashable.com/2014/10/17/paris-butt-plug-sculpture/

An 80-foot inflatable tree in Paris looks a lot like a giant butt plug